Ghost of You
by beyondinfinite
Summary: I can still feel it, his presence. I miss him, and I wish I had more time. Can't things ever go back to the way it was? One-shot.


Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura (CLAMP does) or "Ghost of You" (Selena Gomez does).

* * *

I turn my back to our front door, sighing in an almost worried way. I step carefully and tentatively down the porch steps. My mind is in a whirl and I am suddenly very dizzy. I wait a minute for the ache to pass, and it does. I feel much better. It is nice to see the sky. I have not looked at it properly in the past four weeks. The gate makes a sound as I push it open. I forgot to wear my rollerblades. Oh well, more walking time, I suppose.

I walk across the small bridge that crosses over the river. The sun is out; too high in the sky to be hidden. Flowers are beginning to pop up everywhere. The cherry blossom trees are in full bloom. It is already Spring. I trudge along the pathway as I try to feel happy about this. I have not been out of the house in a month.

Sure, I go to school everyday. I see people everyday. I'm not an anti-social type of person. I try not to be an introvert. Tomoyo does her best to console me, I know that. But, ever since last month... When he died... I just...

He hid it from me. He had the same incurable disease that had killed his father. His father had died young, only five years after Syaoran was born. His mother thought that Syaoran wouldn't inherit the sickness, but it was just too inevitable.

If I knew... If he just told me... I can't believe that I neglected him like that. These past few months I was too busy. Tomoyo asked me to run for Student Council with her, so I did. The campaign was pretty fun, and we eventually won, but... If I could take everything back just to have one more day with him, I would. I was also too busy with cheerleading every afternoon after school. I taught martial arts to little kids every weekend. Not to mention the fact that Touya had prevented him from visiting me at night.

I reach Penguin Park, unconsciously walking to the swing set. I purse my lips as I try to stop the memories, but a flood of nostalgia hits me like a wave. My eyes start to water, but I try not to let the tears fall. He comforted me here when I cried about my unrequitable love for Yukito. He took me here on our first date. This was our special place.

I sit down on my old seat: the rightmost swing. There are three swings on this particular set. Because we always went here, the middle and the one on the right were practically ours.

Again, I feel a wave of nostalgia hit me. For once, I don't cry any tears; shed or unshed. Flashes and fragments of my special moments with him play in my head. For once, I don't stop them. My phone suddenly rings; its sound breaks my train of thought. I press answer without looking at the screen.

"Hello?"

"Miss Kinomoto?"

"Meiling? Why?"

"It's Saturday! Your dad said that you went out of the house already. The kids here in the center miss you. Are you coming back today?"

I don't answer her.

"Are you coming back at all?"

Her voice softened down to a whisper. I can't tell if she is crying. To prevent that, I affirm.

"Sure, I'll be there in 10 minutes."

I don't see her, but I can feel her smile. "Okay! See you."

I put my phone back in my pocket and then get up from the swing. I will come back later anyway.

* * *

The familiar aura of excitement fills the Tomoeda Martial Arts Training Center. The moment I step in the classroom I used to train in, the kids swarm around me like bees to a flower. I hug every one of them, momentarily letting myself get caught off guard.

"Sakura-sensei! Why did you not come back for a while?"

It was Senuki, a little boy with wild chocolate brown hair and lighter brown eyes. I freeze for a moment, and take in his appearance. He has grown taller since I last saw him. He could even reach my elbows now. He looks at me curiously, titlting his head to the left, and smiling a small smile. I catch my breath as I realize something. He looks exactly like Syaoran when we first met.

"I was not feeling so well, Senuki-kun."

The class starts right before my eyes. I watch Meiling teach them the basic techniques of defense. Senuki catches on pretty fast, and even helps the black-haired girl beside him. I can't help but remember the first time I met Syaoran. It had been a scene similar to this one. I was once a student at this center, and so was Syaoran.

I was practicing a kick that the teacher taught us, but I failed because I either kicked too high, too low, or too soft. I was on the verge of giving up, clearly close to tears, when an amber eyed boy approached me. He demonstrated the same kick, but taught me how to make it easier. I did the kick again, and he said that I had improved a short while after.

The session ends without my knowledge. I am too cooped up in my memories to notice. Meiling comes near me and taps my shoulder. I snap out of my reverie and turn around to face her. She smiles a bit, her eyes already filling with tears. I move to hug her, but she flings herself at me, embracing me more tightly than I would have ever thought possible. "I've missed you so much, Sakura! You don't talk to me at school anymore."

I shake my head and laugh. "I'm sorry, Meiling. I was too pre-occupied with... you know... his death and all. I just... I lost track of everything."

She smiles through her tears. "Of course. It must be hardest on you. Even if I had loved him for a long time, the two of you deserved each other like paper and pen. You can almost never have one without the other.

"And the last thing he told me was to take extra good care of you. He told me that it was okay if you found a new guy in your life, but you should never forget him, Sakura-chan! He told me that he'll have my head if you ever got in an accident. He told me lots of things."

I purse my lips for a moment and let the words sink in. "Did he tell you anything? Anything to say to me at all?"

"He talked about you the most, you know. He was actually rambling in his deathbed. He told me to tell you not to waste your time crying over him. He told me to tell you not to fake your happiness. You are your most beautiful self when you're happy, he said. I know, it's true."

I smile at her expression. Oh, Syaoran. Always the cheesy one. I can't believe that he used to be my rival! I miss him so much. I check my watch; it is time to go.

"Uh, Meiling, I have to go. It was great seeing you around!" I hug her and walk towards the big wooden doors swiftly. My fists clench; and tears blur my vision once again. Why do I always cry? Syaoran, please... Help me stop. I practically walk around town made blind by my own sadness, wiping the tears from my face. Pushing the thoughts aside. Giving the pain away.

The park is still empty when I return. I go back to our old place: the swing set. Tomorrow marks the first month that he has died. Everyone has to go to the cemetery. I think about what Meiling told me a while ago. Everything she said to me sounds so real. I can firmly believe that it really was Syaoran who said those things.

I look up at the sky in wonder. I imagine that Syaoran is with me right now, swinging right beside me, on his favorite swing. I imagine him looking at me and saying, "Please be happy."

And I oblige.

* * *

A/N: So, I had this idea when I was really really young (like 10 years old or somehting. 4 years ago!) and I only decided to write it now. It's not super alike to Selena's song, but I got the idea from it so yeah. Hope you guys enjoy. :)


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